No Map Needed

 So, I had my follow up appointment. Before my scans, I tried to prepare myself for it to have changes. I had 2 flares after all. I WAS NOT PREPARED. I wanted to be. Tried to be even. I was not. I had to go alone to my appointment, and there was a resident. She started by asking me if I had decided what medication I wanted to switch to. That was not the way to go. I just cried. You see, I did not know that would be a question. My lesions were not active. I HATE change. It got better from there.  Dr. Chenault came in next. She told me it was reasonable to presume the lesions were from my flares last fall. I do not have to change treatments yet. I have to see the pulmonologist next month. If she thinks my sickness and breathing troubles this summer were related to my aubagio, I will have to change. Then we will rescan in December. If pulm clears me and my scans are normal, I get to stay the course. If there are changes, we will face that then.  In other news, school has sta...

 We are a year in to this journey we never wanted to take. 1 year since my world felt like it may crumble around me. I can say I have MS. Sometimes without tears. I say it often bc I need to desensitize myself, I think. I also want to normalize it. Life is good, but there are struggles. Blogging helps release the stress. It also may help a new to MS’er one day. It is good to know that it is okay to mourn life as you knew it. It is ok to not be ok some days. I tend to come here when it is less ok. That is when I need the release of writing it down.  This last year of isolation and loneliness has been tough. I have learned that sometimes the relationships you thought were unconditional  come with conditions. There has been what feels like an irreparable divide in relationships that were the most important to me. And in the midst of that, I was told I may have a tumor, or a stroke, or MS. MS was in many ways the lesser of the evils I was facing. I am thankful for the diagnos...